An Essay that Worked! Alex Campanelli-Jones '10

Alex Campanelli-Jones, one of our best from the Class of 2010, just stopped in my office to say hello while she is home for the weekend from Christopher Newport University. It was great to see her and it sounds like life at CNU is treating her well! I asked her if we could post a copy of her essay to provide an example of how you really can write about any topic and produce an excellent personal statement. Her essay received accolades from Admissions Officers last year - so hopefully it will inspire you as you work towards November 1st. If you want to hear more about CNU, just contact your college counselor for Alex's email.

Swoosh. The automatic doors slide open as I step through the entrance. I stride forward over the welcome mat, feeling my pulse quicken. The bright overhead lights shine brilliantly down upon fourteen aisles of utopia. My eyes widen at the various new displays, and my fingers begin to twitch with anticipation as my mother strolls up alongside me, pushing our cherry-red shopping cart; I know it will be filled in minutes. “Alrighty—let’s get what we need and get out”, she mutters, beginning to follow me as I head for aisle one. I don’t respond because she and I both know that’s not how I operate—when I’m in Staples, I’m in heaven. I take my sweet time.

My obsession with office supplies began the year I entered high school. I’ve always been organized; I can’t stand chaos or messiness. As I entered my pre-teens, my desire to have everything in its right place grew stronger, most likely in direct correspondence to other facets of my life I could not control, such as my parents’ impending divorce and my younger brother’s diagnosis with autism—two events which profoundly affected my youth. They caused me to mature faster, and realize that in order to do so I needed to have my act together. My freshman year of high school, I again learned quickly that I would never stay afloat for the next four years if I didn’t create an orderly system to act as my life vest. My jaw dropped as I watched several of my peers present crinkled pieces of paper as homework, claim they had lost a handout, or blatantly forget to do an assignment. How could they stand it?

It started harmlessly enough: I asked my dad to borrow a pack of Post-Its so I could stick a to-do list in my assignment notebook. The Post-Its, which he willingly supplied, were the items that began my fixation. Soon enough, I was begging my mom to take me to Staples to get more. There were so many different kinds to choose from! Orange, yellow, blue, green, pink, small, long, circle, square…Yes, I bought them all. In addition, I bought several legal pads to quench my list-making thirst, new dividers for my binders, and several white-out pens. I soon found list-making had become a passion of mine as I went through Post-Its and legal pads like water, the fate of the world’s rainforests not even registering in my mind. I clung to my life vest, needing to maintain control and order over my world.

For the past four years I have rejoiced the day when I get to go school-supply shopping. I have become a Very Important Customer at both Staples and Office Depot. I looked forward to going to my summer job working as an office assistant at my church, though I’m sure you can imagine why. Limitless access to any office supply of my choosing? Sign me up! The happiest day of my summer, however, came at senior registration, where I jubilantly purchased a new assignment planner, which had been “upgraded” from last year’s to include calendars, a bell schedule, page protectors, and dividers.

This obsession may seem nonsensical to some; maybe others can understand it completely. To me, it’s a matter of personality. I cherish and hold on to office supplies because that is how I can convey my dedication and organization to others. Whether it be as class president, as a student, or as a friend, I take pride in the fact that people see me as “the organized and dependable one”; it is one of the best parts of me that I can offer.

High school is supposedly about finding oneself and being happy—this cliché, universal odyssey on which teenagers embark on the path to self- discovery and self-actualization. The one thing I’m confident I’ve learned so far is that life comes in many shades of grey, no matter how much I long for it to stay black and white, clean-cut and simple. I will continue discovering, continue learning, and continue on my own odyssey into this new grey world that college presents me with. My Post-its and my to-do lists will come with me, but they will not define me—that is what’s most gratifying. Well, except the feeling of crossing “finish college essay” off my to-do list.

Published by KMH

Your Name And Your Hook

We hope that everyone was inspired by today's Essay Workshop with Ryan Hargraves from UVA! It is an understatement to say that I personally enjoyed seeing the Class of 2011 participate so enthusiastically and I was especially wowed by those brave souls who stood in line to share their "hooks" with the class. GREAT job ladies!!! Since it is essay writing season, I thought I would share excerpts of an essay from one of last year's seniors, Erin Gallagher. If you knew Erin, I am sure you will agree that you can 100% hear her voice in this essay. Enjoy!!!!

Excerpts from Visi Girls by Erin Gallagher

“Visi Girls” wear spandex under their skirts, t-shirts under their polos, and brand new boat shoes. Almost all of my pants are long and denim, two shirts are too much for me, and my deck shoes have seen an entire summer of dirt, water, wood, and sand.
“Visi Girls” wear ribbons in their hair. My hair isn’t long enough for ribbons, even if I could ever get those stupid strips of cloth to do what I want them to.
“Visi Girls” run. They run after soccer balls, tennis balls, basketballs, or to the finish line. I sail. I tack. I jibe. I tighten. I luff. I lean over the high side of a keeling Flying Scott, ignoring the water’s spray as I cut through whitecaps, laughing as hard as I can.
“Visi Girls” walk into the classroom, panicking because they were up all night studying for the math test and Oh my God! I can’t remember anything! What is the tangent of a 45-degree angle in radians? I look up from reading The Historian and say, “There’s a test today? Eh, I’m dead.”
“Visi Girls” came to Georgetown Visitation because of its challenging academic curriculum, its impeccable reputation, and its amazing athletic program. I came to Georgetown Visitation because of its ability to turn me into “a woman of faith, vision, and purpose.” I came because I wanted to spend my high school years at a school where I could develop confidence, self-esteem, and life-long friendships. I wanted to become someone who will be able to face the world without crumbling and to acquire qualities that will carry me through life. It hasn’t been perfect, but not one of us will walk away disappointed.
“Visi Girls” are friendly and welcoming.
“Visi Girls” are White Team Bears and Gold Team Tigers.
“Visi Girls” know within five minutes when there are boys or food on campus—not necessarily in that order.
“Visi Girls” say things like “Sen10rs,” “Relig,” and “This (insert class assignment here) is killing me!”
I am passionate, somewhat disorganized, supremely verbose, hyperactive, creative to a fault, and a compulsive writer. Clearly, I’m not the typical “Visi Girl.” I am nothing like my classmates, but that is okay. Saint Francis, the Patron Saint of Visitation, tells us to “be who you are and be that well.”
I am Me and “Me” is a “Visi Girl.”

Thanks to Erin for letting us share her very personal essay with the world. Erin is in enjoying her freshman year at Christopher Newport, where she was awarded membership into the President's Leadership program. If you would like to be in touch with Erin, ask your college counselor!

Published by TSM